


South park one-shots

by Just_a_fan_of_clouds_and_youtubers



Category: South Park
Genre: Beer, F/M, Football Game, Highschools, M/M, Multi, One-Shots, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sweat, pork, relationships, south park - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-02-15 20:01:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13038375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_a_fan_of_clouds_and_youtubers/pseuds/Just_a_fan_of_clouds_and_youtubers
Summary: South park one shots!They're going to be older then they actually are





	1. Kyle/Eric

_**This chapter is set in  Season 5, episode 3. Super Best Friends. I'm changing the fact that Stan was there, and that Abraham Lincoln opened Kyle's plastic bubble.** _

 

"Eric! You don't have to do this!" The young Jew, also known as Kyle, sat in a thick plastic bubble, in nothing but his white shirt and shorts. 

Eric, the 16 year old, slightly bulky teenager attached a large pipe to Kyle's bubble. The pipe automatically started pouring water out, "yes I do. It's the only way we can be happy."

"Eric no!' Kyle screeched and pounded on the bubble, clawing it desperately, "don't do this to me!"

Eric had already walked away, attempting to down himself and failing horribly. He would mumble, "gonna do it!" Occasionally when he pulled up.

The young redhead freaked out as the water quickly reached his ankles, "help!" He cried out and continued hitting on the plastic, "I don't wanna die!"

The water rushed up to his kneecaps, then his pelvis. Determined not to give up, he tried blocking the pipe with his shirt, but failed. The water continued to go up, quickly reaching his stomach. He whimpered quitely, "Cartman! Cartman!"

"Shut up Jew!" Eric took a breath, "I'm going to do it this time!" He went back down to suffocate himself. 

The water filled up more quickly, moving up to his shoulders. Kyle's heart quickened as he started to panic, and even cry, "Cartman please! I don't wanna die!"

Eric leaned back up and took a breath. Upset he want going along and drowning himself. He looked over at his freindish-enemy. He looked so panicked and scared, he even looked desperate. Eric felt something he'd never felt inside him before... Giult.

The water reached his neck, greedily going up to his face. Kyle tilted his head back up to the top. Taking a deep breath at his little air bubble. He expected the water to continue, but it stopped.

Eric had pulled the pipe out, but didn't know how to get the water out. Eric mumbled embrassedly, "I'm not going to let you die."

Kyle took a deep breath, lucky that the plastic was breath-through. He continued to have his head tilted back. He didn't respond to Eric. Eric looked for a way to open the bubble, and found a latch and clicked it.

 

Kyle's head slammed against the plastic as the water rushed out. He groaned and his body gave way, making his vision blurry. Eric pulled him out but so he wouldn't drown. Kyles eyes rolled back in pain.

"Don't pass out now!" Eric commanded, "I didn't pull you out for you to get hurt."

Kyle whined lowly, "I knew there was good in your heart."

Eric rolled his eyes, blushing slightly, "whatever.'


	2. You stink

"You're awsome, and I did promise you a hug- but no." Kyle said sheepishly.

"What!" Stan pouted, "I won the game for you!"

The honor's student shook his head shyly, "you're so sweaty..."

Stan suddenly knew what this was about. A wide grin quickly plastered on his face and he opened his arms wide, "so being a football player means all I do is smell and sweat right?"

"Yes," Kyle said and took a few rapid steps back, "don't touch me."

Stan knew the smaller redhead would never be able to outrun him. He took two wide steps towards him, "one hug~"

With a quick bird-screech, the redhead bolted. Trying to escape his overly affectionate super best freind. Sadly, Stan was right behind him, and quickly scooped him up in a nice, sweaty, smelly hug. 

"You'll never escape my love!" Stan blurted out cheeikly.

Kyle coughed, "I hate youuuu."


	3. Drunken' Party

Craig had been wondering where Kyle went. Stan had given him strict instructions to watch the Jew to make sure he didn't get hurt. Of course, Craig didn't listen for the first hour, but once alcohol was involved, he tried to find him. 

There was so many drunk-babys it was rediclious. Kenny was mooching over like four people at once, Kevin was making a move on Wendy who was flirting with Bebe, Bebe was taking to her, Clyde was being a crybaby to Token, Butters was cleaning up, Token was chugging strange liquids...

 It was a mess. Now, Craig wasn't completely innocent, he had indeed drunk some beer, but that was an important right now, what was, was finding Kyle. The small, almost invisible male was like a ghost! Someone else will it ghost too.

Eric Cartman.

Craig knew if he found him, he'd fine Kyle, do that's what he tried to do. It took 30 more minutes before he found the two.

"Yeah it's okay Kyle. You said you were hungry right?" The fatasses voice rung out clear over the commotion, "it's beef."

The green hated male was swaying slightly, elbow buffed against the counter. He was holding some sort of cooked ribs, most likely something Eric had boughten to eat for himself, but had given them to Kyle.

With no objection the drunk teen started to eat the ribs, making Eric smirk and take a picture. Craig went over to them, only to recognize that it was pork ribs.

Craig quickly took the pork away from him, "don't eat that!"

Those bright green Emerald eyes looked up at Craig. They were so innocent and so confused that Craig felt kinda bad. Craig but his lip slowly and tried to explain to the drunk male.

"That was pork, not beef. You know you can't eat pork." Craig said gently.

"Why not?' Kyle crossed his arms, wobbling slightly.

"Jewish people don't eat pork." Craig said and gently took his hands, "Stan would kill me if you got in any more trouble than you are. C'mon let's go home."

Kyle obediently followed him out. Stumbling at his fast pace, and too confused and drunk to understand what was happening. 

Craig walked out of the house, it was some random kids house, "your mom will get mad at you right? If you come back drunk."

Kyle shivered, "my mom is scary."

Craig chuckled, "you can stay with me for tonight."

Kyle nodded egarly. Holding onto his arm until they reached Craig's house. Craig scooped up the smaller male and carried him to his bedroom, trying to make little to no noise as possible, and it worked. Craig sat Kyle on the bed and started rummaging through his clothes, looking for something small enough to fit him.

Craig pulled out one of his smaller shirts, which had been dry cleaned twice. He gave it to Kyle while looking for some pants.

A few minutes of looking, Kyle giggled from behind him. Craig looked around to see Kyle stuck with a have in his shirt while he was pulling it off. He was trapped in his clothes. He giggled again and looked at Craig.

With a eyeroll, Craig helped him get the pj shirt on, which was funny. Kyle kept wiggling and saying it was funny. Instead of caring that there was no pajama pants, he took off his pants and was in nothing but Craig's shirt and his own boxers. Before Craig could say anything, Kyle moved under his covers to go to sleep.

Craig's cheeks lit up slightly. He undressed to his boxers. He hated clothes in general, but he wouldn't dare take advantage of a drunk person. He laid opposite to Kyle, who flipped over and snuggled into his back none the less. The two peacefully fell asleep.


	4. Kyle/Tweek

"C-coffee?" Tweek asked for softly

Craig shook his head, "no Tweek. You've had too much."

The blonde was getting frustrated with Craig. They weren't dating anymore, so why was he still acting like he could control him? Tweek scoffed and walked out of Craig's house angerily. So much for their sleep over.

Tweek was beyond frustrated and confused as he accident walked onto the Starks Pond pathway, and didn't realize where he was toll he was 4 feet from the water. He sighed quitely and sat down with a pout.

"Yo, you okay Tweek?" Stans cool, calm, and collective voice asked from a distance away. 

Tweek perked his head up slowly to see the muscular jock approching with his lost puppy dog, Kyle, following behind. Tweek took note how he wouldn't look at him and wondered if he had said something bad to him

"Yeah... I'm fine. Craig wouldn't give me any coffee, and I've been almost the whole day without it!" The spaz once more sighed, before flopping down with his back in the snow.

"You can come over to our house and have some." Stan offered, "we got some coconut coffee, and it taste pretty good."

Tweek wondered if he should go with the two 19 year olds. Deciding why the hell not, he stood up, "I'm game."

"That's the spirit!" Stan said happily and laid an arm around both of them, "coffee and popcorn, am I right?"

Kyle chuckled and nodded, "get off me dork."

Stan smiled and let go. Patting Tweek on the head before letting go.

 

It took about 23 miniutes before they reached the small, white, one story house the two lived in. Stan had cursed and told them he needed to go to Wendy's for their tutoring lessons. He seemed kinda bummed out, but joked about how Wendy really needed the lesson.

Kyle hadn't spoken to Tweek and it made the spaz think something was seriously wrong. Many times he tried to catch his eye, but they were unsuccessful.

"Did I do something wrong?" Tweek asked after Kyle had made the coffee, "why won't you look at me?"

Kyle bit his lip quitely, "you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why won't you say or do anything?'

Kyle gave him a heastintly, "I'm just- not feeling so well?"

Tweek automatically knew he was lying, "you look like a love-sick puppy. Stan will be back."

"I don't have feelings for Stan, Tweek." Kyle blurted out.

It took a moment for the blonde to pick up his words, but he flushed a bright red, "oh."

There was a ackward tension in the air before Tweek approched a ashamed Kyle, who was completely avoiding looking at him.

Tweek was a bit taller than Kyle, so he went behind him, and wrapped his arms around his waist, much like he'd seen couples do, and rested his head on Kyles right shoulder, "I like you too."

He didn't need to see how bright red Kyle, or himself was.

"Finally!" Stan said from the main entrance, "I was wondering how long that would take!"


	5. I'll have more chapters up soon guys

Sorry for leaven' you guys in the dark for so long guys! I'll have some new stuff up soon. Send some request if ya got any!

 

Buttercups in December this is  **my account**


	6. The gnome issue 1

Another sleepless night. Another night where gnomes would come into a twitchy kids room and steal his underwear. Tweek never knew why they would do this, but it always frightened him, and it made him sad when none of his friends believed him.  
Of course, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and it might've been Eric- Tweek doesn't remember too well, that went down into the tunnels one cold night to see the gnomes. Something had happened to Kenny that involved a rock- or maybe a minecart, and he had gotten squished.  
It seems as time crawled on, no-one believed him and their memories of the gnomes were forgotten.  
Well, Tweek never forgot. He sat on his bed, feet tucked up to his chest and hidden underneath a blanket as three and a half gnomes scrambled up his dark chocolate brown dresser, and opened the dresser drawer. Tweek will admit that this is the first time he's ever seen a baby gnome, and they've been present ever since he was 3!  
He's not 17 and his 18th birthday was in two weeks. He slowly shifted on his bed and laid on his stomach, eyes wide as the small, but we'll dressed, tiny gnomes scrambled down with two pairs of his boxer shorts. They had upgraded from underwear to boxers, just as he did. It almost seemed as if the gnomes wanted to terrorize him for as long as he lived.  
Tweek said nothing as two of the three and a half gnomes left through the mouse hole that he was constantly covering up, but to no prevail the gnomes would break whatever barrier he had and continued to do their jobs.  
The third gnome, a fat and older one with a heavy grey beard that sagged heavily down pointed a fat finger at Tweek, his light brown satchel shifted as he reached into it and pulled out a small bottle with bubbling purple liquid, "daya see tat Timmy?" The gnomes voice was hoarse due to old age. His eyes watched closely as Tweek shifted uncomfortable on the bed. The gnomes never pointed him out directly, and this was nerve wracking to the already spooked blonde.  
"My name is Edward grandpa." The baby gnome said ackwardly as it shifted it's light blue hat, then adjusted it's orange suit, "what's wrong with it? It's just watchin' us."  
"That  _is_ the problem Jeffrey. It's watchin' us."  
"So?" Edward asked curiosity as it eyed Tweek. Their eyes locked for a second before Tweek nervously grabbed his pillow for protection.  
"Billy, if a ho-man is ever, and I mean EVER watchin' us, ya gotta throw sometin' at it. Weather it's a forgetful potion or it's a shrinken' potio'. Yagota that Tyler?"  
"Grandpa, let's just leave the human in peace. It's not doing any-"  
"No!" The grandpa snapped quickly, "Idun kare whatcha momma say, I raisith her! Chuck dis at that ho-man." He gave the potion to the baby gnome.  
Maybe it was the fact that Tweek didn't think the tiny gnome could ever throw something far enough to hit him, or maybe he though the gnome wouldn't be able to hit him, but he didn't move. He didn't even flinch as the small glass bottle, not even as small as an acorn, was lunched acoss the room at lighting speed and struck Tweek right between the eyes. Glass shattering as a very hot and bubbly purple liquid  seeped into his skin, dissapering instantly.  
"Nowa Daniel, ya can stay and watch tis human do his thang or ya can waddle on home wit me." The grandpa said as he slapped a hand onto the child gnomes already squared shoulders. The two started to walk away, dissapering into the mouse hole.

It might've been a few minutes, or a few seconds before Tweek started feeling light and nimble. The weight on him seemed to dissaper as his bones hollowed and he started shrinking rapidly- until he was as small as a mouse standing on it's hind legs. Tweek went into full blown panic at his size as he took quick and sharp breaths.  
"C-calm down!" He ordered shaikly, twitching nervously, "d-deep breaths. Count to 10, then call Craig." He recited the calming tecquines that he's done hundreds of times.  
_In and out.... In and out.... One.... Two.... In and out... Three.... Four... Five..._  
Tweek continued taking long and deep breaths until he counted to 33. He then glanced around to fully see his surroundings.  
Sound was much easier to hear. He could hear the buzzing of a lone fly- which made him confused because it was useally too cold for flies, but whom is he to judge? He could hear his parents talking quitely downstairs before one took a big yawn and they slowly retreated into their room for the night. The house fell into silence soon after, which made Tweek feel even more nervous at the eeriness of the silent and pitch black night.  
He got to work at the only plan he had: get Craig. The small teen started trudging through his blanket, so glad that he decided to leave his bed messy and a wreck as he trudged the unforgiving green cloth mountain, glancing to see that his phone was indeed on his pillow and not the unbelievably tall nightstool.  
Tweek took a dareing leap from the blanket to his clean pillow, landing neatly beside the pillow. Do much for that plan. He stared at the pillow to eye each dent and each crevas before he started climbing the slippery and slick pillow. Tweek was unaware of how much time he spent climbing the pillow, but it took awhile before he could even touch his phone.  
With a wild groan he pushed it off the pillow and onto the flat matress before sliding down the pillow and landing on it. He then proceeded to hit his touch screen, type in his Coff33Lovêr123 password, and text his boyfreind.  
  
**T: Bae, need u now**  
  
Tweek waited for a total of three minutes before the norriet texted back  
  
**C: Y? Can't ut eait untik mornjkng?**  
  
Tweek realized how tired his boyfriend was when he saw that it was 2:39 in the morning. Tweek bit his lip nervously, pausing to think of what he could do, and after a moment he let out a heavy sigh.  
  
**T: K, come over in the morning though, as soon as u can!**  
  
Craig never responded back, Tweek had assumed he had fallen asleep. Tweek frowned sadly and snuggled under his blanket, creating a refuge as he waited for dawn to take control of the night once more.

 

 

**_Part 2 coming soon_ **

 


End file.
